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09-02

2010

Thursday Q&A

Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch asks:
Hi Sarah! I was wondering what would you do if one of your children wanted to go to school?

Ah school. We have done public school (three of them!), homeschool, and unschooling. All with varying degrees of successes and failures.

When I became pregnant with Daniel, I immediately decided he would be home-schooled. Fast forward to single parenthood, working full time (I’ve never received child support from his biological father), and a stressful living situation and the choice was made to have him start public school.

I was not confident in my decision. It felt wrong. It felt like it was too soon, that he wasn’t ready. I should have listened to my intuition. Surrounded by my family members who told me I was an awful mother if I didn’t send him to school, I started him at Brentwood.

From day one he was overwhelmed. The school focused more on the social aspects rather than the educational. He and this other little boy at the time, Christopher, did NOT get along. Daniel has always been very tall for his age and Christopher was of course, smaller. He would push my son and then claim he “had to” because my son “scared him”. I made numerous requests in person to the principal AND his teacher asking them to place my son in a different classroom. Instead, they “separated their tables”.

It killed me. He didn’t learn a single thing in kindergarten. Not one thing. In fact, he began to hate any kind of learning.

Then it’s time for first grade. This teacher refused to answer any of my emails, refused to schedule any conference with me, and again focused on the social aspect. During this time the decision was made that he would move to Pennsylvania to live with his biological father. WORST MISTAKE EVER, not only was my son abused physically/emotionally/mentally by his biological father and bio-father’s girlfriend, but again was set up to fail in his school (Laurel Elementary School) there. Their security was lax, in fact, it was brought to my attention that my sister had posed as me and spoke to the principal at that school on more than one occasion. I still don’t know what went on up there…

Anyway, after five miserable months in PA, he came home and started up at North School. Right away I was uncomfortable. His teacher (sensing a theme here!) never responded to my emails or in person contact. The principal would text my cell phone after 9pm suggesting my son go on more “playdates”. He spent most afternoons in her office because, again, he was not having good interactions with the other students. They would have him do handwriting worksheets as punishments.

Now during all this time and all those schools, what did he learn? That he needs to play nice or be “punished”. That’s it. He didn’t learn to write or read. Didn’t pick up any history or science.

Considering my own history with school, I was a bit shocked. After all, I really didn’t have any issues.

So Keith and I decided to homeschool. Then we chose to unschool very shortly after that. It’s now been a year and a half and Daniel does some writing, a touch of reading here and there, and is quite good at math. However, he still fights us every step of the way if we even SUGGEST he “read a book” or anything he construes as learning.

So you can imagine my utter shock when last night, Daniel told Keith and I that he wants to try public school again.

We spent over an hour discussing it with him. What his reasons were, that it would be hard work catching up educationally, that there is a lot more structure and rules, etc. That if he was solid in this decision, we would support him and make it work.

I am terrified.

I am worried that we will spend a small fortune to enroll him, get all the supplies the school “requires”, get all the clothes they require (as a lot of them are specific on a dress code), for him to decide he made a wrong decision and to choose to be at home again.

I am freaking out about the level of work that needs to be done to catch him up to grade level when it comes to reading (which he seems to hate to do).

I am concerned about potential bullying by other students, it seems like every hour of every day there’s another article released about bullying in schools.

I am stressing out over all the “what-if” scenarios.

I feel quite lost actually. Have you been in a similar situation? I could use all the helpful advice you have to offer!

archived under: Thoughts

{18 comments}

08-27

2010

Why My Oldest Son Rocks!

When I went from being a single full-time working mother to ONE child to being a stay at home momma to TWO boys, to say it’s been an adjustment would be an understatement.

I don’t think I could have done it if it wasn’t for my oldest son, Daniel.

Here is just a SMALL list of what he does on a DAILY basis to help me out:

Changes the baby’s pee diapers
Unloads the dishwasher
Loads/unloads the dryer
Plays with his baby brother for HOURS
Believes he is a Sith Lord and is teaching his baby brother to be of the dark side
Keeps the cat watered and fed
Indulges me when I want to shoot photos
Is VERY protective of his family
Loves his family SO much

I have emotionally hard days, especially after the failed VBAC and I don’t think I would be able to function if it wasn’t for all the help Danny does around here!

archived under: Thoughts

{27 comments}

08-24

2010

Hazy

archived under: Photography

{21 comments}

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I'm Sarah, mom of two sweet boys, Daniel & Tristan. I'm passionate about Attachment Parenting & photography. Why don't you learn more about me! Follow me on Twitter, stay up to date using the RSS feed, even subscribe via email, or connect with me on FaceBook and the OSN forum!

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Personal

Fought for a VBAC and lost
"She proceeded to make the comment “I know the situation, and because of that I’m not feeling sympathetic” in reference to Sarah leaving the hospital AMA and not accepting a repeat c-section previously, and to the massive amounts of pain she was in."
Vent - VBAC Scare Tactics
"He then recanted and said, “well maybe it’s not a law, but I’ll tell you NO hospital will ALLOW you to VBAC without it”. Right ok, so first fear tactic and lie."
I had TWO c-sections
"It’s hard because sometimes I almost feel shame or guilt that BOTH of my c-sections were medically needed."
Who Am I?
"I went from a victim, a weak worthless nothing to a MOTHER. I went from being a punching bag to a protector and then lost myself yet again."

Tweets

@PoorParenting basically homeschooling follows a curriculum and unschooling allows the child to self-learn #

@PoorParenting following her and sent her a ton of DM's lol #

@hearmeoutx public schools place huge emphasis on reading at a specific age. #

@hearmeoutx I really don't hold stock in add or ADHD. He seems to be more of a visual learner, like myself. I'm not worried however #

@hearmeoutx what is IEP and reading wise? He doesn't like to sit still and do it. He would rather be WATCHING a star wars movie than read it #

I would appreciate your feedback on my post about my #unschooling child that wants to try to go back to #publicschool http://bit.ly/d8xdnK #

{follow me on twitter!}

Angel: I am playing devil’s advocate here, because you mentioned, “Then it’s time...
Veronica: I have zero helpful advice to offer but I think you are a bad ass. You have been...
Sue Campbell: I’ve not been in your situation, but I admire the support you are offering...